The Raffle

Wow! What?! I kid you not this is probably the sixth dream (ironically) I have had this year about the band and members of DevilDriver. Dude, what the Fuck is up? Something is going down...

This is going to be short and sweet like always. It seems that I was at a grocery store or something of the like. It's some type of business with many monitors and cashiers, so I figure it's the grocery store. Walmart comes to mind for no particular reason, it just does. We're there just chilling inside the building towards the entrance, within a check stand just conversing and reminiscing on some funny events that had happened a couple days before. I couldn't tell you in detail on what we were laughing at because this dream was so quick and vague, I woke up and was in utter disbelief of why I am dreaming about them again!

There were some people there that seemed to know the guys pretty well. Their' faces look very familiar to me it's just I'm not too sure where I've seen them before. I think was the only woman who was there in the group. Not that I'm complaining, am put off a little bit. For the most part of our time there, I was just talking with John for a kool minute. I got an overwhelming feeling of 'finally'. I'm guessing "finally" I'm getting to really know who and how he is as a person outside of the public eye which was nice to see, you know.

Now, what gets me is why the hell would you do a free giveaway and/or raffle at a grocery store? Beats me however that's exactly what happened. I guess we were just waiting for some time to pass to announce who the winner of the raffle was going to be. There weren't that many people to begin with for this raffle. At most there were about eight people along with us just waiting to see who's name was going to be called out. I'm not to sure what they were raffling off. I think it was a combo of the new album and something else. All I know that it was pretty awesome if I do say so myself.

The winner's name was displayed over the monitors throughout the store. It was a young, little blond-haired girl who won. She was overjoyed to say the least. She then hugged the guys and took a picture with them. And that's pretty much all she wrote folks. This is where the dream ends.

'Til next time, Blessed Be!

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This Suicide

 

Hey guys! I know it has been awhile that I've been on here. A lot of shit has come up that has kept this pretty lady very, very busy!

For the time that I have been away from here, I've noticed that a certain someone and a reoccurring subject/topic would unmistakably pop up out of no where. It has only been these past few months or so that I would see this subject and that happens to be Suicide, hence. I know it's some morbid and dark stuff to be thinking about but it happened. I believe there is a reason for this as well.
 

This is kind of near and dear to heart so to speak. Reminiscing back, many moons ago when I was 14 years old my best friend who is like a sister to me, her brother committed suicide at a young age. He wasn't even a teenager when the deed was done. Yes, that is some pretty heavy shit to be thinking about for anyone especially for a little boy such as my friend's brother. I remember the few months before leading to his death, I too had those dark thoughts of my own. However now I know looking back, the feelings that I was feeling were not entirely all of my own.

For some of you that don't know already, I have "gifts".  Just imagine yourself being empathetic towards someone, (more likely involuntarily in my case) but that it is turned up way high. It's where you can literally feel what another person is feeling or sensing without them telling you what exactly is going on with them and they could be hundreds of miles away from you too. It's called being an Intuitive Empath. As I've aged I have also noticed that when I would have some 'sad' thoughts or feelings, shortly after I would find out why. You can say that this was the start.

 

So here I am, I was a young teenager going through puberty, feeling shitty about myself and the motives of others. Not knowing who to trust or who to believe for any matter, everyone was ambiguous to me. You can say that these were probably the worst years of my childhood. I felt like I had no friends but just people that I would talk to during recess and lunch just to get through the day at school. I was constantly bored out of my mind and I could barely concentrate. I desperately wanted to fit in but felt I wasn't accepted amongst my peers or society. 

I know sounds like what your everyday teenager goes through but it was more then just that. Finding yourself and a place in life is not an easy thing for anyone. I felt like I was worthless, a burden to others and my self-esteem was extremely low. I constantly cried myself to sleep hoping the next day would be better. Regularly I'd think if I were to do it, I was doing my family, friends and society a favor of removing myself from the world.

Now these contemplations ran for a few months and then all of a sudden it completely stopped. I was normal like the actual me again, if that makes any sense. I was back to being that bubbly, charismatic and funny person like I have always been. Things tended to look up for me at that point. Also at that time my friend and I were becoming closer then ever. Back then before when kids had cell phones at school, I kid you not they were the size of a brick, my friend had her own home phone in her room. We would literally talk for hours about nothing and still have a good time.

I remember this one particular day I called her and her brother had answered the phone. I was taken aback that it was him because she would usually answer it once it ranged. As soon as we started talking, I got an overwhelming feeling in my gut that something was wrong and that this would be the 'last' time that I am going to talk to him. I was bewildered and aghast as to why I was feeling this way. So I just brushed it off as nothing and asked if I can talk to my friend. I didn't tell her what I felt because it disturbed me and I didn't want to alarm her either.

You also have to take into consideration that I was barely learning how to use my gifts at the time. Not saying that it's any easier now, I am still learning, I learn new things everyday however at least  now I can differentiate what feelings are entirely my own and I am likely to find things out right away as to why I was feeling a certain way if they weren't my feelings.

The next morning when I went to school, it was announced to everyone there that my friend's brother had committed suicide. Different kinds of emotions ran through me that day. But the one that primarily stuck was the guilt. What if I had told someone or my friend what I felt was wrong with him, maybe things could have changed and he could have gotten the help that he needed. All sorts of what-if questions popped up in my mind but that didn't matter, fact was that he was no longer with us physically. He was going through beyond, a tough time and all the while I was precisely sensing what he had gone through unbeknownst to me.
 

Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. If you try to commit suicide and it is successful, you will Reincarnate immediately into a lesser life. In this case it means you'll come back and have to go through the same karmic entanglements all over again except this time it will be twice as hard if not even harder. Everything that happens in life is just a problem to be solved and there is always a way through no matter how hard life becomes. Taking what seems the easy way out, will only in the long run will make it harder on you. Until you break through the problems you have and learn and move forward you will keep on repeating the same lessons over and over until you do.

He definitely visits me, I can sense him sometimes though it's not as strong as I would like or he'll visit me in my dreams and leaves me messages every once in awhile. I guess this is a strange way to commemorate him. I hope he knows that he is missed and surely isn't forgotten, at least not by me anyway. Blessed be...

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, PLEASE seek professional help and take the time to call the Suicide Prevention Hotlines (US) at 1 800 784-2433 (SUICIDE) or 1 800 273-8255 (TALK). For helplines outside the U.S., check out Befrienders Worldwide.

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Sidenote: Mike

What's up you guys, how ya doing?!

Fuck me, am really dumbfounded right now! As many of you know the obvious, DevilDriver is one of my favorite bands. With that being said last night I dreamt about one of their guitarists, Mike Spreitzer. I am a bit perplexed as to why I am dreaming about him so much for these past few months. Low key it's getting on my last nerve though. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against this comely man, I have thee utmost reverence for him. It's just that it can get a bit irritating to say none the less when all you seem to do is dream about the same person all the time when you try to recall. Obviously it's not a bad thing though, however I would like to know about other stuff for instance like what is going to happen to me and my loved ones. Something is definitely up with him. It's only a matter of time before I will find out. Usually by "the grace of  god" shit tends to fall on my lap, so to speak. It's the inevitable sometimes...


I don't know, I find it kind of ironic that I dreamt about Mike considering we just had a summer solstice and that tonight we will have a "Super Moon". It's a full moon in which it will be the largest we've had this year and it'll be the closest encounter with earth in a very long time. In other words the moon is going to appear huge probably bigger then you've ever seen in a cool minute and you may to start to notice that people you know and around you will be even crazier if you haven't noticed already. You have no idea how much the moon, let alone the full moon affects us. For example the moon causes many of the tides on earth's oceans due to the gravity force between the earth and moon. Another example is the female menstrual cycle has been linked to the full phases of the moon. The moon has some adverse affects on us especially the full moon, the list goes on and on.

This full moon will be a great time to do spells. Particularly any protection spells, self cleanses and any cleaning of precious gems and stones. Now onto the dream that I had. I only remember a small amount of this dream however like always I am going to keep this short and sweet.

It was mid afternoon, the sun was shining bright and it wasn't too hot either. It was decent to be out and about outside for the most part. I was at this really dirty house, it seemed like it had been abandoned and dilapidated for quite awhile. I was there with a group of people to which I had no recollection as to who they were but I was helping them out by moving boxes in and out of the house and onto a hauling truck because they were moving to a bigger and better house.

As I'm was transporting boxes from one point to another, to my surprise I see yours truly, Mr. Mike Spreitzer. He seemed to be the one that was coordinating everything on what was going on at the house. He too was taken aback that he saw me there helping out and then proceeds asks me how I was doing and how my guitar playing was coming along. You know the usually small talk. I replied, like the smart ass that I am, I said 'Oh everything is going pretty well but just that I'm not where I want to be. You know, you say that when you suck, right? How's your guitar playing coming along? You know what they say, Those that can't, TEACH! hahaha'. He and I chuckle and then he quickly changes the subject by listing different things he would teach his guitar students like chords, pentatonic scales, etc. to see where exactly I was. Then he says to send him a video of my playing. I don't remember much of this conversation but then he says that we should get together and set up a few lessons so he can show me some more guitar stuff. The conversation was very brief and we continued to finish packing up boxes and loading them into the rented hauling truck.

That's pretty much all folks. Talk about a short lived dream to say the least. Anyways take care of yourselves, enjoy the benefits of this full moon to come and Blessed be! :)



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Just putting it out there...

What's up suckas?! Hahaha...

I know it has been a cool minute but a bitch has been hella busy. I just wanted to give you guys some updates of what I've written in the past. This is going to be short and sweet.

 In Strange Occurrences I mentioned that someone who I would constantly talk to in a daily basis, all of a sudden they stopped talking to me. Well about a month after mercury retrograde ended, I get a text message from that very same person saying that they hope I'm doing well and that we should hang out soon. Oh my god, I told you that A) They're going to come back to you and B) that they're going to act as if nothing "wrong" ever happened. That's precisely what they did! Ugh, don't mean to gloat but I was right! Yes we still talk and hangout however not like before all this nonsense went down. They are now the one' that is putting forth the need to get in contact with me. Which is pretty awesome if I do say so myself, I am so done with putting in the effort to communicate. Ewwwe, now I'm just waiting for what June entails...

Mercury retrograde is approaching shortly so keep an eye out on what you say and do. Starting tomorrow (June 10), we shall start to feel some of the affects it has on us. It won't be as strong as if  we're actually in retrograde but please still be very careful!

(Lilac- Pre-Retrograde, Blue- Retrograde, Purple- Post Retrograde)

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Airplanes

 Ewwwe. One thing in life that scares the shit out of me would be airplanes. Being way up high in the air, all the more while putting your control and trust into the hands of another and traveling at ungodly speeds in sheer nothingness is pretty fucking scary if you ask me.

Oh chills run down my spine and I get goosebumps just thinking about it. Ugh, anyways...

This dream I had awhile back was nonetheless about airplanes. However it was like a scene straight off of 'Revelations' or something. Check it out, it's in the bibble, I mean bible. C'mon that was pretty funny, laugh out loud! (Tamayto, toemato hahaha.)

I was with some of my friends out in the middle of nowhere, just lounging 'round and relaxing for the weekend. We had been working non stop on some project and it was some much needed r and r. It was beautiful outside with lush and velvety lime green grass and the trees were everywhere you looked. Just across the yard from where we were standing, there was an old brick or stone two-story cottage. It was white and black with windows all around it too. You can tell that the building was really old, it's roof was made out of either shrubbery, straw, hay or even some random clusters of arbors. Who the fuck knows! It was it was in shambles and ready to fall to pieces yet safe to be in, if that any makes sense.

It's the late afternoon and we were just about finished eating our lunch when all of a sudden we hear what sounded like a giant explosion of some kind. We go outside to see what had happened and we saw that an airplane had just crashed a few hundred feet away. I guess you can say we were pretty lucky that it didn't land on us. Shortly after I'd say about a minute or two after we heard the first crash, we saw that there were some more airplanes that flew over and near us. They too just started to catch on fire, slowly descend from the sky and crash all around us.



 



The cottage that we were staying in, was at the bottom of a hill. As we tried to make our way upwards to avoid the planes from crashing into us and all of a sudden a giant cluster of them was headed our way. Apparently we were in 'their' path. Then more and more airplanes keep coming and crashing all around us it was like a freaking maze just to escape from the area we were in. We had to calculate where these airplanes where going to land so that way we wouldn't get hurt or even die. I'm surprised we didn't get trapped by them either. Oh it was a horrible dream to say the least guys. The screams and cries of the people in the planes when they were descending was sheer horror and deafening.

And that's where it ends. Having us run for our lives just trying to survive an apocalyptic event such as this. Seems like we just barely made it...

You can say that yes it was only a dream however something similar like this has happened to me in real life, a few years ago. I had planned a trip to go to O'ahu, Hawaii to visit my sisters and family.

It was a couple of days before I was to start my vacation and make my way to the very beautiful Hawaii. At the time I was working the graveyard shift. I gotten off work early that morning so I kept myself up for a bit, that way I would be able to get some decent sleep before I started my shift later on that night. It was the late afternoon when I went to bed around 4 o'clock. I was somewhat half awake, on the verge of knocking out when I hear a VROOM sound coming outside my bedroom window. I kid you not it sounded like an airplane was about to crash on me. I heard it descending and spiralling down out of control within seconds but there was no boom or landing noise. It was so loud that I literally jump out of bed to see if there was an actual airplane coming down on us.

Thank the universe that it wasn't about to crash on me! I don't know why I heard that noise. Yes, so I was half asleep but I was not dreaming. That I know for a fact because I could hear my neighbors talking amongst themselves in the background as I attempted to knock out. When I looked out the window, they didn't move at all. They were hanging out and minding their own business. Pretty strange right! Seems a bit convenient that I heard this just before I was going on my trip and that it was my first time ever boarding an airplane and yes I was extremely nervous too. I believe that something for sure, was fucking with my sensories and emotions. I'm thankful that it was a one time thing and that it will never happen again, SO MOTE IT BE.



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Love this song. Listen and Enjoy! :D

 

 

The Swarm

It's of no surprise that I've been having some real weird dreams lately. Some of them have came true and other have not (yet). A few days ago I had a couple of interesting dreams. Some of my lovelies Jeff and Mike (laugh out loud) and then shortly followed by a nightmare...

I'm not too sure if these dreams are from the past, if they're going to happen in the future or just that, dreams. The first dream I had was of Jeff. We were at some house, I didn't recognize it at all. It was big and spacious. It had a high celling, the whole room was painted white. So I'm just there hanging out with Jeff, am not to sure for what exactly or why we were there. More then likely either they were rehearsing for an upcoming tour or recording for an album of some sorts. He had an electric guitar strapped to him and then asks me to look at his back, primarily his shoulders. For some reason the right one was lower then the left side and it looked a bit odd too. Jeff had been complaining that they had been hurting since the morning. He then tells me to touch it and see if I feel any knots or something. My dear lord, it was fuckin' bumpy on that right shoulder. I don't know how he could have stand the pain. Not only did he have numerous knots but I think he may have even dislocated his shoulder. I proceeded by saying he needed to go get a massage to remove them (lord knows I'd do it!haha) and to go see a chiropractor to get align because it didn't look normal obviously.

I know a pretty boring dream but like anything I think he should go see the doctor for that shit. It may even help him and it wouldn't hurt either. Who knows I may have even helped him in preventing a serious injury to his shoulder. He should be very cautious of what he does with his arms because not too long after I dream of you with an injury some shit happens. But don't take my word for it...

Now, onto the next. My dream of Mike was funny (to me at least). I too, was hanging out with him however we were at his parents house. I got the feeling he either just moved back with them or has been living with them for some time unwillingly. We were heading towards the kitchen about to have lunch with his mom and brothers. We're about to be seated at the table and  I notice that you can fit about six people. The kitchen was small for the size of table his mom had in there.

When we sat down, Mike came in the kitchen in a white or light colored bathrobe with his hair down and wet. I guess he must have taken a quick shower. One of his brother teased him by saying he's always the last one to show up at the dinner table. We all laughed but Mike was irked at something. He retorted saying that he wasn't this time, as we were all waiting for his other brother to show up. In the dream I got the sense that he's the baby of his siblings and has at least two older brothers. Finally his brother comes over and that's where they both start to argue about over something real stupid. I remember saying to myself, 'can't believe you guys are fighting over this shit'. The brother, Mike is arguing with looks alot like him but just Mike is younger and has smoother skin. Though his brother's hair is long too but not quite as long as Mike's. It's definitely longer then the average.

Anyways they continue to go back and forth just complaining about shit. Then all of a sudden Mike's girlfriend walks into the kitchen to say hi to everyone. Oh my god she was pretty. Tall, thin and with blond hair, I kind you not she looked like one of those Victoria Secret supermodels (like Kate Upton)! Yea she  was that pretty, laugh out loud. As soon as she walked in his whole demeanor just changed. He was mostly fixated in her every movement that she made. Where ever she moved so would his head. His brothers again teased Mike, this time saying it was only puppy love and that they were surprised he could 'get that'. Apparently he's the ugly duckling (not true) of the family.  We all laughed including his mom however I don't think Mike heard this. As his eyes were too preoccupied with what his girlfriend was doing. When she left, so did he. He just got up and followed her every move in a way on how a giddy little school girl would be when she saw her crush, it was funny.

Again, I know it's a pretty boring dream and not that funny. But like I've said it was to me, it's funny how "the tables have turned" so to speak. I don't mean to be presumptuous or anything however, I don't see him being with the girl that he's with now for very long. She may just end up leaving him for someone else and for good this time...

Now shortly after these wonderful dreams, I guess you can say I reminisced through my sleep on a past horrific event that happened to me when I was younger. Many weird and traumatic things happened to my family and I not too long after we moved into our house when I was about 11 years old.

My brothers and had just gone to bed. We had just fallen asleep, when I heard a faint buzzing in the room. I thought to myself, 'great we have a mosquito in the room, hopefully it doesn't bite me'. It kept on flying around my room for a few minutes then it suddenly stopped. 

Sweet right, it probably left the room and now I can finally get some sleep. But oh to my horror that was just the fuckin' calm before the storm. Shortly after the noise coming from the mosquito, I hear a crescendo of bugs coming from what sounded like they were coming from the wall and the corner of my bed to which they were heading towards all over my brother's and my body. There were hundreds if not thousands of spiders and cockroaches all over us, coming from an unknown source. I of course started to panic uncontrollably and tried to brush them off our bodies. It seemed a bit strange to me that while I was seeing the bugs try to consume us and I attempting to get rid of this swarm of disgusting pests, my brother was sound asleep like a baby. I thought I must be dreaming then, however apparently not. I guess I had moved the bed just enough that I woke up my little brother who was asleep for him to notice what I was doing and he too screams bloody murder and tries to brush them aside as well.

A couple of seconds after he had just woken up, it all stops! What the fuck just happened bro? To this day I have not slightest idea. Could have been a ghost was trying to scare the living shit out of us to move out but who knows. It obviously didn't work because we've stayed for awhile.

So yes it may seem that lately I have had this reoccurring dream of my brother and I being engulfed by this creepy swarm. Oh my body just cringes just thinking about it. Anyways, it still puzzles me why all this went down these past couple of days. Don't get me wrong I don't mind dreaming of my favorite musicians and Ay dios mio they're extremely comely men but come on really? The fuck?! I don't want to dream about them now. I think I irritate the fuck out of them you know. I want to dream about what's going to happen to me...well at least what's going to happen in the very near future like tomorrow or something. You know what I mean? I tell you it can be frustrating at times guys. I can never win at this shit.



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Predictions

Oh my fucking god, I'm so mad at myself right now! About a month or so ago I had a dream that I was at a grocery store. I was just walking up and down each aisle to shop for whatever caught my eye, right. I'm not sure how long I was there but I did seem a bit bored and I had a few items in the hand basket already. Then all of a sudden I see myself starting to stalk the shelves with these white looking boxes. I'm just there for a cool minute, then something tells me to look at them and I see a familiar figurine I hadn't seen for a while. It's yellow with a brown cowboy hat, boots, gloves and a blue handkerchief wrapped around its neck. They were freakin' boxes of Twinkies! I remember specifically telling myself, 'Oh wow they're back'. Crazy right, I know who would have thought...

So I found out yesterday that they Are going to come back sometime this year. Yes Twinkies are making a come back! What irks me is that I didn't write it down on here for you guys to see. Then I could have been like you see guys, I'm not that crazy my premonitions/dreams and predictions Do come true!

Since we're on the topic of predictions, I know I'm not the only one who has had a dream about this but I believe something is going to happen to the white house. Am not sure what exactly happens or what it is but all I saw in my dream, was that something happened to it. It was enough for to cause some concern and to show up on the news. I'm hoping no one gets hurt though. So if something big does happen to it, I can be at rest and say 'You see you guys, I saw it coming. I was right'. Laugh out loud, hey someone has to stroke my ego why not be me you know. I'm just glad I finally got this off my chest.



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Strange Occurrences

Wow! I'm not going to lie but these past couple of days have been real hard. Found out so much about people that I wouldn't have expected. This is unnecessary stress in my life that I don't need. All this is do to fucking mercury retrograde!

A few rules to follow and know during mercury retrograde is to, One, Not to buy any electrical items! You will find yourself that most of the electricals will be disarrayed if you do, so to evade any problems do buy them a week before or after retrograde.

Two, under any circumstance Do not get into a relationship. If you do, as quickly as it started it'll end just as fast and you'll more then likely have thee worst heartache. I've heard many stories of people getting together around this time and it has always ended badly. It's a rarity that it will last but it has been done.

Three, If you're in a relationship before mercury retrograde and it turns sour during retrograde, and you guys break up. Don't worry too much. People who usually break up around this time end up getting back together and usually as if nothing had happened.

Four, Someone from your past will come back into your life. Whether it's an old flame, friend, co-worker or someone you lost contact with awhile back, they will somehow make their way back into your life. This is to be expected, it's inevitable you can say...

And as always, there's is a lesson to be learnt. Hence why there is soo much chaos around this time. However you will truly know what that lesson is when it ends.

These are just a few of the basics that you'll need to know. Check out Astrology Zone and Mercury Retrograde for more info. Also check out this article about Relationships & Love.

Like I said, this has been one of the toughest retrogrades I have encountered by far. Some people who I would talk to just about on a daily basis, has completely stop talking to me right when retrograde started. I do not know why but they have. Frankly, I know they'll come back and hit me up as if nothing had happened. That's what usually happens during this trying time.

Oh and how can I forget?! Someone from my past has come back. That's not good! The name that I pegged him is, Satan. He's a horrible man that has walked on the face of  the earth. Thought he'd choke on a dick and die already but hasn't. He's come back with a fucking tenacious vendetta and for sure has plans to raise havoc on me and other people that are involved. I'm just praying to the universe that it's short lived. Now I have to hit him where it hurts and fast. I've got to sage the fuck out of my room and do a freezer spell, so that he doesn't affect me and he will not! So mote it be.

Also, I had a freakin' scary out of body experience/dream last night. It was definitely intense. For some reason I tend to see myself sleeping when I have these horrendous experiences happen to me. It's like something holds me back from exploring the dream world and I'm stuck in my room, outside of my body just floating on the air. Anyway, I see that I'm sleeping on my stomach then all of a sudden I feel a weight on my back and it pins me down to my bed so that I don't move at all. Then I feel many pairs of hands pinning and pulling the rest of my body down so that I do not move at all. I try to say a prayer but I'm a bit disoriented and something or someone is preventing me from saying it too. I don't know how I muster up the strength but I do and I finish the prayer, I then envisioned I was being surrounded by a bright beam of light and I called on the Arch Angels and my deceased loved ones to help intervene on the situation. Which they did in retrospect because as soon as I did that, I felt the weight and hands on my body slowly but surely diminish.

When I woke up from this, one of my arms was numb & in pain and I couldn't move it at all. I must have slept on it wrong or something but for me to "dream" of something so horrific as this, something is up. The dream had only been about an hour or so from when I fell asleep. It seemed like an eternity had passed. I then quickly sage my entire room from top to bottom, lite candles with water surrounding it and then did a protection spell for myself and loved ones and finally went back to sleep. Later on that morning I again woke up with the same numbness and pain in my arm because I had slept on it wrong yet I had no 'nightmare'? It was as if nothing went down last night. What the fuck is going on dude. This is too much to be a coincidence! Something was totally after me but failed. Don't fuck with the meek, we have strong wills. I will prevail!



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Random Rant: Mercury Retrograde

I'm a firm believer in that throughout our lifetime we learn lessons, whether good or bad. There is nothing farther from the truth when I say that we ALL will learn something of some sorts when Mercury is in Retrograde! Mercury goes into retrograde 3 times a year for about a month more or less. And guess what?! We just went into retrograde on February 23 and will end on March 17. It came a little early this year too, which is a bit weird to me but whatever.

I don't know what it is but lately I've been having the feeling of helplessness. I'm wondering if it would be a spirit in my house trying to manifest its emotions onto me or just maybe I'm feeling one of my close relatives' or friend's emotion. Ugh, it's irritating thee fuck out of me since I cannot for the life of me, pinpoint where it is coming from. Usually shit "just happens to fall on my lap", so they say but nothing has turned up yet. Damnit!

I wonder if this has to do with a lesson I must learn this season. I have been a bit distant with some of my family and friends. Can't help it though, it just seems like I'm always bothering them or that it's usually just me putting in all effort to say 'Hi' and see how they're doing. Dude it gets fucking tiring being the one who has to initiate a damn conversation with someone who says they care, can you blame me? Yes I know we are all very busy with our lives Neppah Tihs, shit happens mang. It's just that it'll be nice for a change to have the effort reciprocated every once in a while you know. To feel like someone out there does care about you....So if you don't hear from me in a cool minute, you know why. I've just been Real busy with a little situation and do not bother me....that's called life!

 

 

(Lilac- Pre-Retrograde, Blue- Retrograde, Purple- Post Retrograde)



 

Ugh just one of them, think out loud random rants. Man I seriously need some sleep, I'm just being fickle...Goodnight Everybody!



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*P.s. just realize, had no intentions to post this on a 3 day. Number of communication... #Numerology look it up!